Monthly Archives: February 2013

Cloudy Skies

I was driving down the road and noticed all the clouds in the sky

I notice the clouds a lot

I stare at the sky often

It’s like my happy place where I can sit and watch God create beauty

 

A lot of times I think he is just showing off how awesome of an artist he is

Often there are lots of clouds in the sky

But today I noticed something different

Today they were layered

One layer of clouds after the other

All different colors and sizes

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As I continued driving towards them my mind wandered

Layers upon layers of clouds

But what would happen if I peeled back these layers of clouds?

One layer at a time if I ripped the clouds away

What would I see?

 

Eventually the layers would run out

And I would be staring at a beautifully colored yet cloudless sky

 

My heart is like this cloudless sky

It’s beautiful and whole and radiant

But so often I hid it

I don’t want to go to the hard places with people

I don’t want to be vulnerable

I don’t want to expose the deepest parts of my heart

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So I start layering the clouds on

Layer after layer I cover my heart up

Until all you see is dark nastiness

 

The beauty can’t be seen

The radiance is hidden

 

Today the clouds were blocking me

From being able to see the beauty of God’s clear sky

There was no happiness or sunshine radiating for me to see

 

And this is how my life looks a lot of times

I have these layers hiding my joy and happiness

I keep myself hidden and people don’t see sunshine radiating from me

 

As I kept driving the layers upon layers of clouds slowly began to disappear

With each layer that was removed I began to see a little more blue in the sky

The sun began to shine a little brighter for me to see

Until all of the clouds were washed away

And before me God had created a beautiful blue, sunshiny, cloudless sky

 

My favorite part about the sky today

Was it is exactly like me

When I begin to pull back those layers

When I begin to let people truly see my heart

When I decide to go into those hard, deep places with people

Then my heart shines radiantly

My heart is beautiful and whole and beaming for others to see

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What layers do you need to remove so your heart is fully exposed to others?  

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The Pursuit of Others

Today I’ll be honest with you and expect the same in return

Women like being chased after

They want to be wanted by a man

And men want to win the girl

So they go chasing after her

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Valentine’s day is long gone

A day devoted to loving your spouse or significant other in special ways

But there is this one word associated with love that keeps reverberating in my soul

 

PURSUE

 

It’s a word I’ve been thinking about for days now

A word that has caused me to find myself daydreaming of relationships often

Relationships where men are pursuing after their one love

 

But then I think what in the world does this whole pursue thing even mean

Women want men to pursue them

Old school society tells us men should be the pursuer in the relationship

But what does that mean

And what does that practically look like

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With these questions running through my head for days now

I’ve stumbled upon some answers

Maybe you’ll agree or maybe you won’t

Either way could be fun conversations

 

I started my research with the literal meaning of pursue

And initially came to some brutal meanings about overtaking or capturing things/people

Then I got to the good stuff

The stuff I was looking for

 

Pursue: to strive to gain

to proceed along the course

to carry further

to court

to persistently seek

 

As I read these definitions the puzzle was slowing being completed

A man should strive to gain his crush

A man should proceed along the course of a relationship with his love

A man should continue to carry the relationship further

A man should court and treat his love special

A man should persistently seek his woman

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Yeah these are ways in which a man should actively pursue a woman

I agreed with what I found

I was pretty content with what I had discovered

 

But I just couldn’t shake a thought in my head

Shouldn’t I be pursuing too?

Yeah so I get I’m not a man

And I’m not pursuing a woman

But there is still pursuing for me to do

 

This whole pursue thing isn’t just something a man should do to a woman

He is interested in having a relationship with

 

Pursuing people is how to live a full life

I should strive to gain other people’s stories

I should want to know their lives because God has created each of us with

A unique story and they can offer wisdom to me

I should proceed along the course of a relationship

With the woman I encounter at the coffee shop

Because that day she may just need to know she is noticed and cared about by a stranger

I should continue to carry the friendship further

Getting to know that person more and more because I want to be a listener

I should persistently seek these friendships

Because God uses others to bless and I should want to be that same blessing

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But my favorite is courting

I should be showing every person I come in contact with how special they are

I should be paying attention to others

I should be inviting to them

I should make sure they know they are loved

I should be courting these people I meet

I should be pursuing the people I see

 

Who are you pursuing?

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Dogs & Fear

I went to visit a friend a few weeks ago

I came home with a huge colorful bruise

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I should probably stop here

It wasn’t near as dramatic as it sounds

Well at least to me it wasn’t

 

I was standing there waiting on the dog to sniff me

Instead of just sniffing he lunged forward and bit my stomach

It all happened so quickly all I could do was laugh

However I was the only one standing there laughing

Everyone else thought it was a super serious thing

 

I’ve always called bruises and scars battle wounds

Now I just had another battle wound to show off

And a cool new story to tell that has earned lots of gasps and laughs

 

I’ve told this story lots since leaving my friend’s house and coming home

I have kind of become a broken record

I ask if they want to see something cool

Then I tell the story and lift my shirt to show the bruise

It’s quite comical to gauge how people will react

 

But really that’s the only time I give it thought

The room is quite and needs some livening up

So I offer up a fun story of how I was bit by a dog

 

At least that was the only time I thought it ever crossed my mind

I have recently realized how wrong I was

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Multiple times since being home I’ve walked down my driveway to the mailbox

Every time I get to a certain point two decently sized dogs begin to bark

They make their way for me and I notice my steps becoming quicker

I try my hardest to not make eye contact

I fix my eyes on the mailbox walking briskly by this point

Shoving the letter in the mailbox I quickly make a move back towards my house

 

You should know I have never been afraid of dogs

I am not an animal lover

But I have never been fearful of them

 

Until this incident happened

And unknowingly at the time created a fear of dogs in me

I had become someone who walked fast to try to escape the dogs

I was now changing the path I took to go running to avoid the scary animals

 

Fear had overcome me

Sure it was a super simple fear

But in a part of my life it was controlling my actions

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I had been out for a run and was topping the hill

About to see my driveway and be finished for the day

When I hear it

The barking of the dogs

 

I am about to change my path back to the house to avoid the dogs

When I think of how ridiculous all of this is

If I don’t face this fear it will continue to control my actions

 

So instead of going a different direction

Or looking down so I don’t make eye contact

I look straight ahead at the dogs and walk towards them

The closer I get the less the dogs bark

Until finally they quit barking and quietly walk alongside of me

 

I made it back to the house without another battle wound

But there was still a cool story

 

I learned a lot about fear that day

I learned that if I don’t face my fears I’m going to let fear dictate my actions

If I don’t look fear in the eyes and stare it down it will alter my path

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And that’s just not going to happen anymore

 

What fears are controlling you?

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The Thief of Joy

Webster defines comparison as the quality of being similar or equivalent

I’ve been taught about comparison my whole life
About how God made me special and in his image
So I should love the way I am made
And not be jealous of other people

I’ve been taught how I shouldn’t try to be similar or equivalent to others
Because God created me to be unique
To be different from everyone else he created
To be an individual unlike anyone else

Whether that be the way someone else looks
Their artistic ability
Their intelligence
Their wealth

I’ve been taught comparison is a bad thing
And that it will destroy my own self-image

I’ve been taught that I shouldn’t compare anything
But instead cherish the fact that God created me unique

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That’s what I’ve been taught
It just wasn’t always the truth of how I thought

I always knew I shouldn’t care how I matched up against others
Because I had been taught I was special and unique
And blah, blah, blah

I knew what I was supposed to think
But in this girl’s mind all I heard was that I wasn’t as good as her
I couldn’t hit the ball as good as her
I couldn’t shoot as good as her
I wasn’t as good of a Christian as her
I had messed up in life but she hadn’t
I couldn’t sing as well as her
I for sure couldn’t paint as well as her

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I’ve thought these things for years and years and years
If I was being honest I would say comparison has defined much of my life
In a super unhealthy way
Where I wouldn’t try things because I knew
There would always be someone who would be better

So I’ve said I’m done
I am done with this comparing myself to the person sitting next to me
I’m done trying to meet the standards of those who are super talented in areas I’m not
I will no longer try to one up the person who has a gifting in an area I don’t
It doesn’t matter anymore
I quit trying to compare myself to her

However I have come to the conclusion that I should compare myself
It can be a healthy thing
Making these comparisons will actually make me a better person

Stick with me
Don’t tune me out now
Because you see my life should be all about comparing myself to Christ

If I am made in the image of God
He is my standard
He is what I am trying to mold my life after
My life should look like the life of Jesus

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So I should be able to sit down at the end of the day
And begin to compare myself

Did I love like Jesus today?
Did I show grace like Jesus today?
Was I non-judgmental like Jesus today?
Did I stop everything I was doing to help a friend like Jesus did?
Instead of complaining about things did I find things to be thankful for like Jesus did?

Did I make sure people saw Jesus not Meagan today?

Who are you comparing yourself to?
If it’s not Jesus you may want to change your standards of comparison!

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Chosen & Appointed

Much of Jesus’ words were recorded while he lived on earth

If you have a special Bible you can flip through the new testament

And see red words standing out and screaming at you

Those are the words Jesus spoke

Don’t feel bad if all of your Bible is in black and white

That just means you have to search for those two little words “Jesus said”

 

John 15 is a fairly well known chapter in the Bible

Jesus is talking, pretty much preaching to the people

What would be some of his last words spoken in a large group before his crucifixion

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If you’re looking at the special Bible the whole chapter is in red

Along with most of the chapter leading up to and preceding chapter 15

Here Jesus speaks the whole time

He tells an intricate story of him being the vine and us being the branches

He explains that we are his friends not his slaves or servants

He continues to say the world is going to hate you

And he promises that the Helper, the Advocate, the Spirit of Truth will come

 

But I don’t want to skip over my favorite part so quickly

“You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.”- John 15:16

 

Jesus says you didn’t do anything

I picked you

I chose you and have appointed you to go

Go and bear fruit

Go and disciple others

Produce fruit that is going to last forever

Disciple them so that they can disciple others

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I read the remix version of this to myself often

Meagan, you didn’t choose me

I choose you Meagan

I appoint you to go Meagan

And Meagan I want you to produce lasting fruit

 

Ok Jesus, sure thing!

 

Here is the part I absolutely love

Jesus didn’t say this just for me

He didn’t say I have only chosen and appointed Meagan

 

Read it again

I chose YOU

I appointed YOU to go and produce lasting fruit

 

He is telling YOU that YOU are chosen

YOU are appointed

 

Now you have to decide what you’re going to do about it

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